I made this list when I was depressed and needed my husband to help me see the way out of the darkness. These are things that I suggested that he could say, preferably as he hugged me.
It turned out that it didn’t matter that I told him what to say… it always made me feel a little better.
If you know someone struggling with depression, try saying one of these things.
- You’re not alone.
- You’ll get through this.
- I’m here for you.
- Is there anything I can do?
- Do you want to talk? I’m here just to listen.
- Come sit with me.
- You’re doing fine.
- You are okay.
- This will eventually end.
- We’ll get through this together.
- I’m calling tomorrow to check on you. (Then do it!)
(just show up and say) I’m here to ____________________:
- do your laundry.
- make you lunch (bring the stuff for it).
- sit with you.
- play with your pets.
- take your dog for a walk.
Let me just ____________________:
- sit with you.
- hug you.
- hold you.
Sometimes when someone close to you is hurting deeply with depression, you might not know what to say or do. Ignoring it, or pretending everything is okay, is almost impossible for the one suffering. These are just suggestions of things that worked for me, in my life, when others said or did them.
If you’re the one suffering, I urge you to tell someone close to you what you need them to say. It’s okay to have to tell them – they can’t read your mind, and might feel awkward, like they’re afraid to say or do the wrong thing. So tell them what you need from them. You’ll both feel better for it.