Depression Analogies

So many times through this journey with depression, I have thought “once and done.” Like, “There! That depressive episode is over and now I’m all better!” But in my case, that’s just not the way it is. I keep walking with it – it sidles up next to me on my life’s path.

Depression is an unwelcome visitor who keeps arriving on my doorstep. I try not to invite him in, but sometimes he sticks his foot in the door so he can push it back open. He wants to come in and make himself at home. And he’s been here before, so he’s a familiar guest. I want to close the door and bolt the lock!

Depression is a deep cavern with a hidden entrance in the ground. One misstep, and I could fall in. If I land at the bottom, it will be very hard to crawl out. The sides are slippery mud and jutting rocks. The cave is dark. My hands will bleed from pulling myself up towards the exit.

Depression is a wet gray wool blanket, weighing me down and dampening everything. It’s heavy, and I can’t see through its tight weave. And it stinks!

Depression is an ongoing battle. As a soldier in the fight, I must stay alert to the enemy’s tactics, and be quick to action so – at best, I can defeat it, or – at least, I can keep it at bay. “Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil.” Ephesians‬ ‭6:11‬ ‭NLT‬‬ (italics mine)

Mystery walk

What’s at the end of this sidewalk? Is it different in the dark?

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I can’t see beyond where the immediate light shines. Future is a mystery.

So I depend on faith for my future, affirmed by what I’ve experienced in the past.

I trust Jesus, the Light of the World. He’s been with me every step of my life, lighting the way as I needed to see, and guiding me when I was walking through the dark times where I couldn’t see, when He called me to simply follow Him. He has led me, is now leading me, and He will continue to lead me, curvy path and all.

(This reminds me of the excellent book, Just Enough Light for the Step I’m On, by Stormie Omartian.)

Playing with sunlight

Today’s Photo101 assignment has to do with warmth and light, particularly natural light. So I browsed through my photo albums and picked these.

I like the way the sun lights only the tops of the trees in one photo, but splashes onto the path in the other photo from that same hike.

 

Kitty Bliss

Bliss can be many things for me – sleeping in, a beautiful path, a private personal retreat, a picturesque sunset, wine and cheese on the beach with my husband.

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Hermitage personal retreat

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But Kitty Bliss, that’s complete!

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Paths

4C608623-8BE6-4C6F-B70A-546A312B36CDPaths. I love paths. Dirt or grass or boardwalks or brick or stone. Looking down the path to the horizon line, watching as it converges on an invisible spot. Makes me wonder what’s at that point? Does the path curve? lead out onto a beach? wind back into the woods? What comes at the end of the path?

And then there’s the journey along the path. I love walks that wander through woods, though recent path walks have led me through swamps and sloughs and beach brush.

Climbing down steps in a National Park, steps built by the Civilian Conservation Corps under the New Deal of the Franklin Roosevelt administration. Those men made some otherwise inaccessible views available to Park guests. I feel such a sense of pride and history when I walk those paths.

Paths where I have to climb over large tree roots. I recall walking on such a path with our camping buddies as we made our way to a secluded bay of Lake Superior. My husband and I had started ahead, but my sense of balance wasn’t completely steady, and the sound of laughter and chatter approached from behind as the kids all made their way to the beach, passing us to reach it first. Stepping between the tree roots – sometimes my shoe just fit – delightful! – and sometimes I stood on roots themselves. Big beautiful trees. That path led to a fantastic day with great friends.

Walking on a boardwalk above the water of a nearby slough – looking for alligators or fish or turtles. Birds overhead, a baby owl. Lovely colorful flowers and spanish moss strands hanging down from the branches. Blisters on my heels so I walked barefoot, the wood so smooth under my feet.

One of my favorite paths – a small stone and pebble walkway to the cabin I stayed in for my get-away. The whole weekend was magical, and the path that led to the front door guided me there.

The path that wound through the woods near the outdoor theater. Up the hill, on white gravel rock, making it easy to see in the dark when coming back down after the show was over. And the other path built there, winding in a sort of circle away from the indoor theater. I lost my sense of direction as it curved around.

Many of these paths I’ve walked take me away from daily noise. I first enjoy the silence, then when I’m listening more closely, I hear the sounds along the path – dripping water, birds chirping, leaves blowing, wings flapping. A plop and I turn quickly to see what I missed. The path is not silent, after all.

I’m not certain where my life path is taking me. Turns out, I don’t need to know. I’m trying not to focus on the horizon spot but to enjoy the walk along the way. To listen. To observe. To delight. To appreciate. Of course, I’m not walking this path alone either. Friends and family accompany me for big parts of it, and Jesus is always by my side. He knows where we’re headed, and so I’ll just enjoy the path and its beauty. If it gets dark or scary, with trees looming in towards me or overgrown underbrush against my legs, I’ll hold His hand more tightly. But mostly, I’ll simply enjoy the path.