As I’ve written earlier, I had a long-time medication stop working for me a couple of months ago.
I’ve now been on a new medicine, a mood stabilizer, for two months, and am still adjusting to the side effects. I’ve gained 10 lbs due to the way the med changed my metabolism, but overall, I’d say the combinations of medicines is working. My main antidepressant is a different type of SSRI, and it’s been working for a couple of years. I still take an atypical antidepressant which I’ve been on for many years and it helps me with sleep, a tremendous deterrent against depression.
The goal of the psychiatrist together with the patient is to find the right medications that will affect the particular brain chemicals (basically serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine) to the right degree – not too much, not too little, but just right, like Goldilocks would need. (Depression is definitely more complicated than brain chemistry, but that’s for a different blog post!)
Because of the serotonin toxicity that I had in 2010, my psych doc and I have been very cautious with the antidepressants I take and they way they are supposed to work with the serotonin in my brain. I am not sure how they work with the serotonin, only that I have to be careful. For example, Mayo Clinic lists 4 atypical antidepressants on the website on this topic, and I have taken 3 of them. Most atypicals have worked for me, but one (not on this list) sent me racing to the emergency room in fear I might harm myself. The thought was not my own, the medication caused it!
Yesterday I got a letter in the mail telling me that as of January 1, 2016, the main antidepressant that I take will no longer be a preferred med in my prescription insurance plan, which means I will have to pay more for it if I want to continue on it. It currently costs a little over $1/day with insurance, but will be at least $8/day without insurance. $240/month for just one medication, $350/month for all of them. That’s a big hit to the family budget!
But I can’t afford to be depressed, so I will have to go to my psychiatrist and see if we can try one of the others on the preferred list. Another med change. I’m nervous – if it isn’t the right one, it could make me suicidal, or maybe just not work at all, or it could have unbearable side effects. No matter how it goes, it’s a several-month process again.
Didn’t we just do this?
“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:19 NIV
Ok, then. God knows about my need here. It will be ok.
Sunny with a Chance of Clouds 
Praying for you! I highly suggest seeing a Christian counselor verses a psychiatrist… They are all about medicating, and often times, (and I can attest to this personally) medications can actually make matters worse. They essentially numb you, altering your natural ability to feel, even the good . . . It’s funny, my hubby had a dream a few nights ago regarding my mom, and in the dream he was saying that the anti-depressants are the problem. I personally felt a heck of a lot better when I stopped them, but a lot of the battle was spiritual, and most of the time it is, so medications don’t always work.
I know I shared a bit on this with you before. Check out this short video when you have a few minutes. I go through them for counseling, but I see Phyllis Tarbox. She actually performed my wedding ceremony. In fact, I just saw her on Monday! 😀 They do counseling worldwide via Skype, and it’s on a donation basis. I am praying for you and believing that you WILL get set free from this depression. It is not your identity, or who God wants you to be. He has greater plans for you, and your blog will take on a whole new ministry! 😀 Love you sister! ❤ https://search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?p=above+and+beyond+counseling+depression&ei=UTF-8&hspart=mozilla&hsimp=yhs-001
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Jen. Thanks for sharing.
I have a fantastic Christian therapist here (I’m in FL too!), as I did before we moved here. She’s amazing, and her prayers are powerful…I see a psychiatrist for meds – had a wonderful Christian doc before we moved. His sole job is to help me manage my meds, which I do believe I need right now…I’m definitely aware that there is a spiritual component to depression. I have been part of deliverance prayer – I’ve seen it, been part of praying it for another and saw her healed. I’ve been prayed for, for deliverance. I also believe that not everyone is healed on this side of eternity with God. I know I’ll be completely free of depression one day, but it might not be now. In the meantime, I know God is using this in my life – the depressive episodes, the remissions, all of it – to allow me to comfort others with the same comfort I’ve received from God. That doesn’t mean I don’t pray to be healed…it just means that I pray God uses me right where I am in the meantime…
Thank you for your encouragement to me – I continue to welcome your thoughts and observations, and definitely your prayers!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Amen and amen. Yes, we ARE healed by His stripes, and the physical manifestation of that may not come until we see our Maker face to face, but we can believe that it IS His will to see his children whole and healed. I will be lifting you up in prayer my sweet sister. Dig deep into His word and let His love permeate you from the inside out. You are the Apple of His eye. 💞
LikeLiked by 1 person
Jennifer, would it be ok with you if I write a post on this?
I was doing some vacuuming and thinking about what you said, and it reminded of some prayer time I had with a pastor, and also gave me pause to consider what you said with “your blog will take on a whole new ministry.” Those words made me stop and consider that – what would my blog be if I didn’t struggle with depression? Very thought provoking, and prayer provoking.
Anyway, I know it’s my blog and I can write whatever I want, but I want to honor and respect your experience as well. Are you ok with that?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hey hon! Yes, of course! So sorry I am just getting back to you. I was away at a retreat. 😊 Yea, you certainly don’t want to “settle” with your depression because it is a huge part of your life as far as writing. God has SO much more in store for you. And I believe your ministry would turn into helping others get SET FREE from the bandages of depression, reaffirming their identity in the Father and not with a label from a doctor, etc. And yes, it IS your blog, and I’m certainly not telling you what you can or cannot write about. 🙂 I just believe Jesus has more in store for you than you can even fathom at this point. He wants to take what Satan means for harm and use it for His kingdom! Hallelujah! 💞😄
LikeLike
Yes, He loves you and you can rest in that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re right, Julie. Thanks.
LikeLike